by Sarah Blinco | Aug 6, 2015 | Career and mindset, Lifestyle
Lately I’ve encountered an array of ‘temperamental personalities’ within workplaces where I’ve been contracting; nice, intelligent, motivated people, but prone to breeding ill-feelings due to ongoing ‘bad days’ and in some cases, weeks!
One such example: a magazine designer, Anna, all of a sudden got very moody and sullen at work a few weeks back, to the point where she was obviously being very short with other staff (women, in particular). The primary-school-esque behaviour was not something I’d expect in a professional adult setting, but it seemed to me things were happening at home that were being brought into the office (not necessarily professional, but it happens). What followed was also fairly immature − other team members began gossiping about what Anna’s ‘problem’ was, and in turn ended up feeling miserable themselves. After a few weeks, Anna seemed to move on from her moodiness, but one other on the team, Kelly, has taken it all to heart. She’s harbouring resentment, and now this workplace’s communications team aren’t as communicative as they deserve to be.
None of us are immune to getting involved in this kind of thing. We’ve all got clients, friends, bosses and co-workers who are occasionally (or consistently!) moody and pessimistic, and it only takes one snarky word on a bad day, or a rude snub when we’re doing our best to smile in the first place, for a ‘snap’ to take place, and then the spiral downwards begins. I’m sure you can appreciate that awful feeling, when things go from bright and bubbly in a relationship(s), to strained and cold. It’s awful, and incredibly difficult when it happens in a space where you’re forced to spend a lot of time.
All this negativity can be draining, but after a couple of weeks witnessing what was happening amongst this otherwise-nice group of people, it occurred to me that it wasn’t (and mostly never is) the actions of the person being a bitch/in a bad mood/having a rubbish day/acting like a negative Nancy, that makes a room dull with downer energy. It is actually, us, or accurately, those who play into someone else’s problem, and make it a bigger issue than it needs to be.
We may like some co-workers, clients, sales reps, consultants and supervisors we more than others, and that’s ok. But inevitably, a lot of time is spent together as we each toil to generate income, so what if we were to choose to focus on defusing dark situations rather than simply focussing ON the situation alone.
Here’s what I’ve learned │ co-working karma
- Let it go; everyone has ‘their thing’ going on.
- Be forgiving (it’s more pleasant than being resentful).
- Practice kindness – often that’s the ingredient missing in others’ lives.
- Don’t be afraid to instigate peace – grudges are so last decade.
- Choose better thoughts; the more you worry about the issue, the bigger it becomes.
- Devise ways for your team to get-together socially – a relaxed, fun out-of-work environment can put people at ease, assisting individuals to move past office-related issues.
As always, two choices exist. We can spend time being bummed about a situation or someone’s bad attitude; or we can bring light and a little love to the experience. It’s as easy as starting with ourselves, and considering whether or not we’re taking ownership of the energy, actions, attitude and beliefs we are individually putting forward.
If you’re currently having difficulties in your work life, try this before reacting defensively or destructively: think kindly towards those causing you grief. In your mind, wish them a day as nice as you hope yours will be, and try to get into this kinder mindset before setting foot in the office or into the meeting you’ve been dreading. It’s easy to forget that everyone has their own thing going on, and that it’s up to us to each show up with grace, gratitude, and a tidied-up attitude. With this in mind, it could be you who singlehandedly brings warmth to cold times.
By Sarah Blinco. Originally published, Get it Magazine, June 2015
by Sarah Blinco | Jun 28, 2015 | Career and mindset, Lifestyle
Hands up if you’ve ever been delayed in transit or had your daily plan thrown out by something silly like a traffic jam, and you’ve ended up, well, super annoyed? Yep, me too. Unexpected changes to my plans have often meant major tantrums and freak outs. Recently I had an epiphany on this front though, which has pleasantly changed how I perceive time I once would have deemed ‘lost’. Surprisingly, it all started at a crowded railway station, one drizzly Wednesday morning…
I was on a work trip in a capital city and relying on public transport to get me from A to B. That bit wasn’t so bad, as I was conveniently staying above a transit centre. On the morning of an important meeting, I turned up to discover major delays and an up to 40 minute wait. Brilliant! I started to panic – I’d only just arrive in time, if that.
Feeling flustered, pacing the platform as if that might miraculously manifest my ride, I considered the options. I could race to the station up the road to see if they had fewer issues (doubtful). Ed Sheeran could drown out my worries with his sublime voice (nah, feeling too impatient for music). Alternatively, Wi-Fi was on offer. I could press play on a lengthy podcast I’d hoped to listen to over breakfast.
I switched the webcast on, only to discover that what I had planned to listen to merely for general interest’s sake, turned out to be a half hour of motivating messages I needed to hear, now. The presenter even shared practical advice which I benefitted from in meetings that very day. I barely noticed the time fly by because I was so engaged. In fact, when a notification appeared overhead revealing there was a further five minute delay, I was happy that I’d be able to listen to the end. I really did feel like a cheeky Universal intervention had actually ‘given’ me the time to listen, because it was important that I did so.
To be sure, the “best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry”, so why do we all too often default to stress and impatience when something doesn’t go our way? For me, it usually takes a lot of will power not to be dirty when my schedule is knocked out of play. I’ve always been a planner, early with deadlines and to meetings. Going with the flow – allowing – is something I’ve had to learn and practice.
Gwyneth Paltrow starred in a film called Sliding Doors – maybe you remember it? One of the themes the movie explores is what happens when life doesn’t go to plan, like when you miss your train (or find your partner is cheating on you!). Therapist, Joleen Watson, comments on her website, “The movie [Sliding Doors] teaches that we can’t control the outcome – we can only control our actions and the choices we make in life. And we can continue to trust the process that there is something we are supposed to learn through the process of letting go.”
My moment on the train platform made me think of that film. I was rather chuffed to realise that being stuck wasn’t a waste of time, but indeed, a gift of time.
Whether it’s your taxi turning up late, or missing out on a job you thought you wanted, life happens, and it’s beyond our control. Last week I read that the presence of fear (which can be the root of many feelings including anxiety, worry, stress, jealousy, sadness, panic) is a sign that you are trusting in your own strength, rather than leaning on a power greater than you. In other words, sometimes we have to let go of the schedule or plan, and have a little faith it will all work out in the end (even if it’s not the way originally imagined).
Aim to succeed, of course, just like I’d planned to catch the 8.07am train that morning back in April. But, when circumstances mean you have to change tack, if all else fails, try surrendering the worry. Give yourself a break next time you’re delayed or diverted, and consider what else you could take away from the moment instead.
A little timeless advice from Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), worth pondering next time your plans are thrown off course:
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
By Sarah Blinco. Originally published, Get it Magazine, May 2015
by Sarah Blinco | Sep 22, 2014 | Career and mindset, Travel Live Learn in the media
I – like many of you, I’m sure – am often approached on platforms like LinkedIn, MeetUp or even via email, and asked questions about media, magazines, social media… I’m usually very happy to help – what goes around comes around.
Sometimes however, when I receive a poorly worded, unresearched note that does not contain polite basics like a please or thank you, or even my name spelled correctly, I do feel like ignoring it. Indeed just this weekend I followed up a person who cold-contacted me online to ask about magazine publishing in a rather brash fashion. I did give the benefit of the doubt, and replied straight away as I happened to have a moment to spare on receipt of his initial note; but would you believe, no thank you in reply. Nothing. When I messaged a few days later to ask if he’d received it ok, prompting a, “yes thank you” (or an opportunity for me to let him know that he really needs to work on being more professional in his approach), I received a barrage of other questions back – many of which he could discover answers for by researching just a little bit in the first place.
Instead of focussing on the negative though, I’d like to highlight the messages my colleagues and I do enjoy replying to. They are messages where spelling is checked, some amount of research is obvious, there’s evidence they know who we are and what we do, and they are composed in a succinct, polite and grateful manner.
You’ll find most professionals are happy to help with ideas, mentoring and advice, whether they be editors, bloggers, publishers, producers, performers, entrepreneurs or any other type of business or service provider. There is an etiquette to cold-contacting someone you don’t know on LinkedIn, Twitter, MeetUp, via email etc. Here are my tips on rules for approaching a professional online about business and life advice:
5 Rules for approaching a professional online about business and life advice or opportunities
1. Be diplomatic, not demanding. Perhaps it doesn’t sound like it in your head, but re-read your correspondence (or better still, have someone check it for you) before you press “send”, to ensure your language is coming across as pleasant, not pushy. Keep it short and to the point. Ask reasonable, sensible questions – it’s not up to the person on the other end to give you the Cliffs Notes on whatever you’re aiming to embark on. That is, I’ve basically been asked in the past, “Start from the beginning – I want to create a lifestyle and fashion magazine, how do I write and publish it?” This is information we take years to learn and build on; as much as I’d like to help, you’ll need to do a little bit more research and training than that.
2. Do your research. If you’re approaching a professional for advice, they’ll spot a mile off whether you’re serious, interested and passionate about your purpose, simply by the language you use and the information shared. Yes, of course it’s tempting to seek short-cuts to making a million (or more) off that awesome idea you’ve just had, but, if you’re ignorant about the topic you’re approaching a pro for advice on, it will shine through. Researching the topic will mean you do not come across as a time-waster, and it would be a shame to lose not only a potential mentor, but respect in the industry, simply because the short-cut option (no research and straight to cold-contacting on LinkedIn) is the one you went for. If you do not want or mean to come across as unprofessional, reconsider your cold-contact approach, and know your subject/passion (as you should, if you’re aiming to build a career out of it).
3. Be respectful. People are busier than ever these days. You can show respect by being strategic with the carefully considered questions you ask, by keeping your correspondence polite and succinct, and by demonstrating you have a genuine interest in what you’re talking or asking about. Assuming you’re liaising with a professional in that field, you can be fairly sure they will be enthusiastic about the topic too – if you demonstrate you are, chances are they’ll consider that you’re “one of them”, and be happy to help if they can spare the time. On the respect note too, it’s always a good idea to provide some kind of link, profile image or bio about who you are – that is, I thought it was quite rude to be approached by someone on one of our most common social platforms with a barrage of questions, but no profile picture, no bio or background on who they are. If you’re attempting to network and gain expert advice from a professional you’ve identified online, it’s no good to be operating anonymously (read: highly unprofessional).
4. Be in allowance of the response you may or may not receive. With so many demands on our lives today – both in the office and at home – I can tell you from personal experience and from knowing how my friends operate, lots of people have good intentions to reply with advice or an offer of help, but sometimes it just doesn’t or can’t happen for whatever reason. A non-reply or slow one isn’t always about you (particularly if you’ve been polite, succinct and professional in your approach). That said, you’ve got nothing to lose by reaching out to people for advice, just please consider the other points – basic business and communication etiquette – I’ve made here when you do so.
5. Be grateful. Time is precious and if you are asking for someone else’s advice or insight (especially in the instance where you don’t know them), that’s a big ask – it’s time you’re actually asking for. Don’t take it for granted just because you can quite simply open up a dialogue box on the computer, type in a message and hit “send”. The digital world has opened up so many wonderful portals for seeking advice, growing networks and learning about anything we desire. If you use it wisely, you have the potential to go far.
In the end, consider the same rules as you would for networking in person. That is, you would usually politely introduce yourself, succinctly sell what you’re all about (remember the “30 second elevator pitch”), show your enthusiasm and interest in the person/what they do, and diplomatically ask carefully-considered questions; then you would say thank you.
What’s your experience been with asking or receiving questions via digital platforms? I’d love to know what you think about rules for approaching a professional online about business or life advice – drop me a line in the comments below.
-Sarah.
PS Here’s some more helpful advice on how to approach industry pros and peers via email – The 5 Rules of Email First Impressions
by Guest contributor | Aug 26, 2014 | Career and mindset
Change is as inevitable as warm days in summer. Some choose to make the most of the day and head to the beach, or somewhere cool. Others just choose to complain about the heat, all the while making themselves ‘hot under the collar’. Some decide not to even let it bother them.
Whether or not you like change, sometimes it happens anyway. You can embrace it and transition or put your head in the sand and see what happens. Others seek change as they are sick of the status quo and want to let go of monotony.
Many of my clients share these predicaments. Some are looking for change in their career. Others have had a divorce thrust upon them and they’re not sure how to pick up the pieces. Some just have an emptiness inside and are not sure how to feel good anymore.
Here are some strategies I suggest to help make positive change.
- What’s your vision?
A wise man once said, “Without vision the people perish”. When was the last time you asked yourself, “What is it that I want out of my life?” If you don’t know what you want, how are you supposed to get it? Asking questions is a valuable tool in the process of self-discovery.
A new life is a changed mindset. Focus on success and you attract success. Focus on fear and doubt and you attract failure. Become a creator and visualise your life unfolding exactly the way you want it to.
- Plan of attack
Why do we write a list to get groceries, but don’t write a list for the important things we want from life? By writing a list of what we want, we get the ball rolling. This simple step will light the flame of creativity deep within you and fuel your imagination to create the life you want. Despite what we think or feel, our lives are shaped by what we do. By making the effort and being committed, you will increase your chances of achieving what matters most to you. At the end of your life you will be asked not what you have read, but what you have done.
- Your life is like a garden
To live the life that you want, treat your life like it’s a garden. To have a beautiful garden you must watch out for weeds (problems) before they take over. You must take time to nourish the soil (positive beliefs and thoughts). Cultivate the soil (with action and effort) and sow seeds (positive habits and behaviours) so you can create an abundant garden (life). Remember your dreams are the seedlings of your reality.
- Burst your bubble
Until you burst your bubble and head towards uncertainty, life will give you much more of the same. Don’t let fear paralyse you. You must reach out and soar and take some chances in life. By taking the initiative and going to places that scare you, life will open up new pathways and opportunities for your growth. It’s time to say yes to life.
About the writer
Luke Sheedy is a gifted life advisor, motivator and free thinker. He combines his metaphysical talents to advise clients on their natural strengths, talents and abilities. Luke helps release what is holding you back, so growth can occur and your life’s plan can unfold naturally.
by Guest contributor | Jul 10, 2014 | Career and mindset
I’m not sure if change is the enemy or comfort is? We have all been there, we lose our job, our partner leaves us, you move to another town and of course the fact that nothing ever is NOT changing. What is it about change that makes us so fearful? Is it that we are so protective of our comfort or is it that comfort has made us soft to the wonders of change − why can’t change be comfortable and comfort changeable?
I have often pondered this dilemma, if you will, and I have some conclusions and ideas around the notion of change.
What is it that comfort, also referred to as certainty, gives us? For starters it gives us certainty; certainty means we have control and aren’t likely to be thrown into a situation where we might not know what to do.
Comfort is familiar, it’s secure and we know every nook and cranny of our comfort zone, which gives us some relief and reduced stress or difficulty.
How comfortable can we be if we are at the mercy of our comfort, and the minute something shatters this comfort we go to bits? Wasn’t our comfort once an uncertainty, an unknown too?
Change, even when it feels excruciating, I believe, is life’s way of saying, “have a pit stop and think about how you would like things to be now; what changes and amendments would you like to make?”
Sometimes change is unwanted, but we must deal with it. The truth is, even when change is unwanted, it’s an opportunity to evolve into something better. Coping with change, I think, is a shift in mindset. We can see it as something scary, unknown, full of uncertainty or not; we could see it as opportunity and a breather.
Change may feel uncomfortable, but if you are here reading this, have you not survived it? Have you not learned and grown from it? And just maybe you are in a better place than before the change occurred.
8 practical tips for dealing with change
1. Don’t over think it, understand why it has occurred but don’t let your imagination take over. It’s very easy for the mind to over embellish things.
2. Consider the positives to have come from this change. There will always be positives, you may just have to look a little harder sometimes.
3. Start making a list of things that are in your control that you can start putting into action to regain your stability.
4. Consider how you would like things to be and what you would like to be doing moving forward.
5. What are some of the mistakes that have occurred previously that you can learn from and make positive adjustments with?
6. Make time for some learning and meditation and journal your thoughts.
7. Make time to hang out with trusted friends and get out of your head for a bit.
8. Move, move, move, take action and do not procrastinate; make your to-do list, your action plan and run with it.
I can’t promise you that change will ever be painless. Sometimes it will be, sometimes it will hurt, but how much it does or doesn’t depends on whether we seek to latch onto the certainty of a comfort no longer in our lives or surrender to the certainty of change and all the good it can bring us.
By Petros Galanoulis – Dip Life Coaching, Vedanta Studies.
by Guest contributor | Jul 7, 2014 | Career and mindset
If you’ve not encountered the basics of law of attraction exercises, read on. Small changes in your habits and mindset can have a huge impact on the reality around you.
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” –Eleanor Roosevelt
Dreams and law of attraction exercises
When we sleep, we dream. On average, adults dream four to six times per night during a stage called Rapid Eye Movement. Dreams are a powerful source of insight, and we can harness them as part of our law of attraction exercises suite of tools, to improve any aspect of our lives.
It’s important we listen to our dreams as it’s the language of the universe talking to us. If we can understand and decipher the symbolism in our dreams, we can tap into the hidden messages being revealed to us, empowering us to live our true destiny.
In my clinic I often tell my clients who are having problems or difficulty making a decision to ‘sleep on it’. This allows your subconscious mind an opportunity to solve the problem.
It’s surprising how your dreams can provide helpful advice, whether we ask for it or not. Law of attraction exercises working their magic!
Many of my clients tell me that that don’t dream or can’t remember their dreams. This means they are missing out on tapping into a powerful source. Here are five strategies to help remember your dreams.
5 ways to listen to your dreams to turn them into reality
Law of attraction exercises: sleep prep
As you prepare for sleep say, “When I wake up I will remember my dreams”.
You are giving your subconscious mind a direct order that you want it to help you remember your dreams.
Law of attraction exercises: crystals
Place Howlite crystals near your bed.
Law of attraction exercises: writing
Keep a notebook close by and during the night or upon rising, jot down your dreams while they are fresh in your mind. Include as much detail as possible including colours, objects, people, emotions or symbols.
Law of attraction exercises: dreaming
Buy a dream dictionary, or download an app so you have a reference guide to interpret your dreams and their meanings.
Law of attraction exercises: waking up
Try to wake up slowly and relaxed (rather than to the startle of a buzzing alarm clock). Those first moments of waking between sleeping and dreaming provide a clear insight into your dreams.
Remembering your dreams
If after a couple of weeks, you still can’t remember your dreams don’t give up, give yourself time, it takes practice and perseverance.
Have the persistence and strength to follow through. I tend to dream more when I’m relaxed and in tune with myself and have absorbed powerful and vibrant energy from places of nature.
I often advise my clients who are stressed, anxious and unable to turn off the ‘mind chatter’ to get back to nature, it provides everything we need to revive mind, body and spirit. Being calm and having a quiet mind allows you to tap into the universal mind and receive your visions and ideas.
Remembering and interpreting life changing messages in your dreams provides the insight into making your dreams a reality. Write down your ideas and insights and start a plan of action. You are showing your intention to the universe that you are ready to turn your dreams into a reality.
Everything you see began with someone’s dream, a vision. Decide to take action, have faith in yourself, a desire and a strong expectation to succeed. Let your dreams serve you, so you can draw inspiration, insight and guidance from your night travelling adventures. Your dreams are yours, become limitless.
Let your dreams enhance your possibilities, inspire and motivate you. When you listen and absorb the messages, creativity will follow. Become a life artist, create the life you want for yourself.
Begin it now, life is too short, listen to your dreams, live your dreams.
Make changes
Want more practical law of attraction exercises and advice? Read more here about how to implement gratitude, manifest money and mindset miracles to make shifts in your reality.
Do you take heed from your dreams? What are your experiences manifesting or working with the law of attraction? Let us know in the comments.
About the writer Luke Sheedy is a gifted life advisor, motivator and free thinker. He combines his metaphysical talents to advise clients on their natural strengths, talents and abilities. Luke helps release what is holding you back, so growth can occur and your life’s plan can unfold naturally.
